How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him,"
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.
It is funny, because as I read this verse, I felt so understood, so related to! But then, I got to the last verses, and realized, these verses are what David and I memorized a month ago that were so helpful to me. I don't think at the time I realized this verse was in the context of the Psalmist crying out to God... How sweet for God to open my eyes to his word! That, when it is easy, God has dealt bountifully with me, when it is hard God has dealt bountifully with me, but even now, when it is ridiculously hard and I don't feel like believing God is good, HE IS STILL DEALING BOUNTIFULLY WITH ME!!!
I must say that the thought of this doesn't make me want to go run and clean the whole house, and it doesn't make me want to fix dinner, or give up chocolate, but it does bring me comfort, and I think that knowing who God is will bring about fruit.
God, grant me the grace to believe your character, that you may produce a life of fruitful obedience.