So I have only been up for about 15 min now, but I can already list all of the things that have gone wrong. I must admit I have a strong desire to list them all out as to some how get pity from you.
I shall not do that for there I will not find repentance, and there I will not find true joy.
True joy is found in the cross. And in Ps 16 we clearly see God's mercy on us!
This season my circumstances have been far from what I could have ever imagined where I would be at this point in my life. David and I have dreamed many dreams of something different for us. We have a tendency to think our circumstances, if only changed, would make our hearts joyful, loving, happy.
This, my friend, is by far the farthest thing from the truth. As I read in Ps 16, God instructs my heart to take refuge in Him because I can not find anything good that is apart from him. This means that God is the author of my circumstances, and though I try to change my circumstances, though I try to chose something different for me, God is saying to me and to my circumstances, THIS IS GOOD!
The psalmist continues by telling us that he chooses the Lord. He is saying the he chooses what God has for him, and he calls it pleasant. I can't imagine calling my circumstances that I do not like pleasant! I can't imagine being thankful and seeing that God is pouring His grace on me through these hard times. The psalmist even rejoices to this fact. Lord give me the strength and grace to rejoice in the midst of my circumstance, that you are good to me and this season is a pleasant one because you love me.
The psalmist adds that God makes known to him the path of life. This season of my life, regardless of how it feels, is God revealing the path of life to me! Only in Him will I find joy! I will not find joy when my circumstances change, I will not find pleasure in what I think is best for me. Pleasure is found only in God and what he authors for my life.
GOD IS GOOD AND IS GOOD TO ME! Therefore, let me rejoice in my circumstances for God does not let me go, or abandon my soul! What a beautiful inheritance this is, to walk the path of life that God has laid out for me!!!
So, Lord I do repent from believing that my ways are better than yours. I confess that I think that only if things change the way I want them to, there I will find fullness of joy. This is a lie, and I turn from this and ask you to help me believe and see true joy in you ALONE! Help me to love people that I don't want to love, help me to trust your plan for my life!! Thank you for doing me good all the days of my life! Every moment!