Where shall I stop my heart from spinning on a thousand different course? When shall the direction of my heart align with my Lord's?
Stay here awhile my friend as I peacefully protest against my heart; raise up your banner with me as we proclaim Christ and his Cross. Glory to God in the highest!
"My heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" This is the definition of my life these past months. As I sulk desperately in sin, wondering aimlessly through this desert trying to manifest some sort of dignity of self, this battle I realize is a war against my flesh and my spirit!
It is not dignity of self at all that I need, for if I could gain something from myself, it would be the "hideous doctrine" appointed for me. But, Christ has conquered! He has restored my soul! He has given me a new heart.
I have this constant struggle, lately. My selfish pride and vanity war against me. Now, more than ever I must fight! Fight for Christ! Fight for righteousness! This war has been my ever present friend! And, I must admit, I don't always "choose life!" But, God is sustaining and teaching me! He is refining and patiently molding me! He is gently disciplining me!
If I could only come to you, my friend, and say I have won! Oh what a joy that would be! Yes we have won the battle of all battles! But to win over flesh in the moment! To have victory in my season right now would seem utterly impossible! But, wait, there is something more!!! I know there will be a day when I can say, "Lord, you have turned my morning into dancing! Weeping has tarried in the night, but you have given me joy in the morning!"
Until that day comes and after that day has passed, I will cling to the cross, for in the cross there is fullness of joy! And in the cross, I have victory!!!
"He, being in very nature, God, did not consider equality to be grasped, but made himself nothing. Taking the very form of a servant, being made in human likeness, being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross. Therefore, God exalted him to highest place and gave him a name that was above every name. That at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the father!