My heart skipped a beat!



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Mini photo op

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Photos

She's pretty good at sitting up.


Vanessa, Sophia and me at Nessa's shower!


"I really am teething!!!"


Visit to abba's school!!


Future teacher like her abba and her auntie megs?


"I like his tie!!"


"I like this hairy thing!"


His job:


My job:


-lovin life!!!

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Life overview

Lately, I have been thinking about our quality of life. Hubby is a teacher and I stay at home with our sweet baby, so we are learning more and more about being content with what we have. Paul says "I know what it is to have plenty and to suffer want." but that is just it... Although we don't have a lot, I don't feel like we are suffering want!!! This is partly due to our parents who provide so much for us, but I think also by God's grace, he has given us a contentment that has produced in us a love for our season, a love for each other and a love for knowing God more!

In this season I have been:
-enjoying cleaning and making our house a home
-making crafts (a lot of hairbows. These are for little Sophia Lashlee. I can't wait to meet her.)





-sewing tiny bit





-cloth diapering Little Bit





-reading the books Bonhoeffer and Running Scared (I think is what it's called)
Disclaimer to wives: although this sounds like a lot, let me reassure you- my couch has no room to sit on because of the piles of clothes I have to fold, the dress i have sewn already has a hole and is probably unraveling as we speak, the dishes need to be done, and I am walking around with pee on my pants from our cloth diapers leaking!!! I am just trying to say that God's grace has given me a season of contentment (for however short this may be).

David has been:
-starting school (the kids start on Tuesday)





-he is enjoying his team that he is on at school. There are four male teachers (one being his best friend) and three female).
-he is excited about this upcoming year and has really been enjoying brainstorming ideas for it! There are a lot of changes this year, so he is excited to see what happens.
-he is currently taking apart a computer





-he has also been enjoying jiu jitsu down here
-he too is reading Bonhoeffer
-we are both really excited about a small group starting up here in Athens! His principal will be leading it (how kind of God that David is working under a like minded, super encouraging, boss!!)

Alex Kate has been:
-rolling over every time she lays on her back
-saying the syllable bah a lot
-sitting up on her own
-sucking on her toe











Leg warmers!!!!






I may be teething??





Yeah for the hot dog ride at school! Yeah for my abba's awesome shirt.






I'm a pro at this sitting up thing






I like to sleep like my mama






Love me some cousin Lyric


Hope you enjoyed!!!

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No more facebook??

So, its official. I am undoubtedly, inscrutably, unmistakably forever and amen off of facebook. Whatever my reasons, please don't mistake this practice for a principle. What I mean by that is that the principle is to not be conformed to this world, or to flee temptation, etc... The practice is played out differently in all of our lives. For me, this is not because I think facebook is bad. I certainly don't. In fact, I love facebook (maybe a little too much).

For now, we will be posting baby pictures and the like on here. Enjoy, and let me know if you have any ideas about how to upload pictures from the phone super easy to this or some other account other than facebook!

Fear, the false prophet!

Fear!! The number one thing that being a mommy has revealed in my heart is fear! I awake and it is hovering over me like a dark cloud getting ready to assault its victims, and I lie down at night, eyes blackened from the days trials, the cloud showing no sign of relenting.

I do not suppose you to avail anything I have to offer, but that God might somehow work through my inability! Many tread upon this hill, and many return to find that God alone is the keeper of their soul. No amount of inability could keep them from victory, for in God there is wisdom and strength for the journey.

A typical morning for me looks like this: “Oh no, has baby slept too long? Does she need more sleep? Is she hungry? Are these diapers too tight? Is she getting a rash from these new diapers? Am I doing this cloth diaper thing wrong? Did I lay her down for her nap too early? Did I lay her down for her nap too late? She's crying, should I pick her up? I wonder what other people do when their babies cry? If I lay her on the floor will she get a disease? When I go out will people touch her? Have you washed your hands? When I touch this door handle, are there diseases on it? Will baby turn out dumb because she doesn't sleep well?”

I don't know how many times I have called my friends asking many many questions only to find a basic theme throughout ever answer: “Every baby is different and you just have to find out what works best for your family!”

This is hard for me because I love formulas. I would live my whole life by a formula if I could. I break out in hives when hubby varies from a cooking recipe for dinner. These recipes are an exact science and so should it be with parenting! 1+1 should always equal two. But the fact is, is that it does not. You can do one thing one way and it works for baby only to find out the very next day your method is shot to pieces because something in the equation differed in some microscopic way! In fact, as I sit here and write this, baby is sitting in her baby seat because she woke up early from her nap and would not go back to sleep.

So, I am left feeling helpless because I have no equation to make baby do what I want her to do. I think in these moments when I am so desperate and needy is when God's grace is so evident! I know God is always gracious to me regardless of the circumstances, but when I call out to him for help, I am convinced that he hears my plea!

So many times I forget this. I forget to depend on Christ for my help! I try to figure it out, I try to rely on my friends who have “figured it out” I try to read books that are based on formulas. Through the years a verse has stuck with me in my times of need and it rings true to my soul today:

And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord! Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years. Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you. Deut 8

Be still my restless soul, for in these verses I find much strength for the task at hand! God says first that he is the one that has led me here! God is sovereign and I must acknowledge that he has given me this baby with all of her quirks and idiosyncrasies (already), and that he has given Alex Kate, me, with all my failures and ignorance! He leads me every day. I find myself always in a place where I don't know the answer for whatever baby is doing. And, I tend to believe the lie that I am going to ruin her because I don't understand her! He has brought us here. The Lord divides the darkness where he wills! He gives me my lot!

I find myself in these wee moments realizing this, that my dependence is on him! This humbling of my soul is oh but a grace of God! How magnificent that he would bring me to this weary hour to see that he gives me my bread! He causes me to hunger and HE FEEDS ME! Oh what a great God! My soul shall magnify him! Praise God for providing all that I need for life and godliness! He will not let my soul be abandoned to Sheol! He will not let me rest in this hideous self-rule that I walk in so many times! Like my hubby always quotes from Kung Fu Panda, “I must give over the illusion of control!”

Ephesians 6:10 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might!”

(pause for a moment while I indulge in a amazingly delicious cupcake my hubby just brought home. MMMMMMM a picture of God's sweet grace).

As sure as I sit here and type this post, I am struggling with fear that baby will awake early from her nap. This proves to me that I am a filthy sinner with filthy rags and so in need of God's grace. First, that I have been self-dependent from the day that I was born and in need of a savior! And Second, that this is going to be an ongoing battle that in every moment for the rest of my life I shall continually confess my sin and rely upon my God!

So, weary mom rise up and praise Him for he has brought you to this place! He loves and cares for you and wants you to turn towards him for strength and victory! Trust him, for he is the one that clothes you and feeds you! Fear is a false prophet telling you lies! Be strong, my sweet friend, and stand in the strength of his might!

Oh these filthy pieces I carry,

woven so tight from my daily tarry.

These tasks that I take,

these rules that break.

Hard pressed and shattered,

this equation is scattered!

Try so hard only to see,

from his hand alone do I feed.

You have humbled my soul,

I, you have chose!

I come to this place!

Oh God, your saving grace!

Our Birth Story

Sorry about spacing:

I can't believe I'm holding my baby in my arms right this very moment. As she sleeps on my chest, my awe of God grows deeper and deeper. I can't believe he would allow David and me, such sinners to Experience this! The love we have for this tiny fragile life is deeper than anything we have ever known (third only to Christ and each other). David keeps saying, "the stars don't amaze me anymore." We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 Thursday morning, and got settled in our room with a gown on And wires attached all about me. They gave me some cervix softener at About six. David and I tried to pass the time by playing cards, but this proved only impossible as our minds were set for the days arrival! As I began to get anxious, David would play me some worship music and read me some verses and most fears would be calmed! People started arriving around lunch time, as well as some contractions. I could not feel any of them at first, but a few hours later I was dilated to two and 80-90 % effaced so my contractions were ever present! I then asked for my epidural. I received it and almost immediately felt no pain! I received my catheder since it would have not been possible for me to stand. This was the best part, for I had been using the restroom for nine months consistently, and I had to drag the iv to the bathroom every five min at the hospital! We were surrounded by friends and family, and we could not had more fun!! As the day went on so did my painless contractions, but nigh did we see any more sign of dilation. I think at about five oclock I was a three and then about eight or nine I had made it to a five. My water was broken by this point, the doctor came in around three and broke it. Not painful at all!! So as we continue, my slow progression makes dilation to an eight at about 11 that night, and they told me I can start pushing in an hour and a half. So I started pushing and about two hours later, realized my epidural had worn off due to the amount of hours pushing. So here I am, doctor is in, then doctor is out because four of us were in labor at the same time! I was being so competitive and told the nurses helping me push that we were going to be the first done! As each one gave birth, I was still stuck pushing!!! Once again doc came in and baby started crowning! As the moments went on, I could feel everything!!!!! It took another hour with no epidural until Alex Kate was finally born!!! The doc realized that what had taken so long was that she was sunny side up, which means she came out looking up. This made it harder for her to make it out. Alex Kate Ogle was born on feb 18th at 3:42 am at 7lbs 8 oz and 21 inches long. I was prepared for her to not feel like mine because some people say this happens, BUT by the grace of God, as I saw her emerge from my womb, I was blown away that this tiny little thing was ours! That God would allow us to have her! She was beautiful! She was what was growing inside of me for 9'months! God formed her and gave her to us! Woe is me!!!!!! For I m ruined! I didn't get to hold her right away I think because she was vacuumed out. This means: because she was taking so long they attached this tiny suction cup to her head and pulled her out as I pushed. So thankful for this help! About ten minutes later, they gave her to me and I got to breast feed her for the first time! Over the next hours, David tended to her because I was in a lot of pain from the delivery. This was hard for me, i wanted to hold her and be with her, but could not because I had to get a bath to help ease the pain, I had to use the restroom which took quite a few tries due to pain. And rest... I was so tired from the day, I needed sleep, but could barely let go of what was going on. I think from 3 o'clock Thursday morning to 11 o'clock fri morning we caught about three hours of sleep. Over the next two days at the hospital we wept over the fact that God in his mercy and grace would even give is such a gift. Alex Kate is not an end, but turns our heart to God, to reveal his love for us that he would give us the ultimate gift of eternal life through the death of his son! What grace! What grace that God would know what we desire when we don't even know ourselves. I don't know how to explain this, but I am ready to do this all over again. With all my trials and pain, this experience brought me so close to my husband, to my daughter, and most of all to my God! I love Alex Kate and am so thankful. Since we have been home, I have had at little postpartum depression, being sad at night, and I have had many fears that I am trying to proclaim truths about!!! At times, I feel weary and anxious, but God's truths pour out into my soul! I am so thankful for my husband! He has been such a servant to both Alex Kate and me. Words can not explain how my heart for him has grown!!! I can't believe that God would allow me to walk through this with Him!!! I rest my weary soul in God's hands, but David is a mercy from God for me! Praise our glorious Father who holds all in his hand!!!!!


David's Poem: Stars no longer amaze me. When I saw my princess crowned by my queen, they were downed out in holy amazement. Leave it to God to make the curse a blessing; He does divide the darkness where He wills! Now, my life is not my own, again. And tomorrow it will be demanded of me; all the way to eternity. His goodness and grace overflow from my eyes and drip on his image of me and myself (the rib of me)! How small am I? How weak? How dependent on God in Christ? My hands hold the answer in my infant... Alex Kate