BABY IN 3 DAYS

Ok, so here it is!!! D-Day is almost here! I can't believe it (please excuse my many exclamation points as I feel the need to scream this whole post out!!)!! Our baby girl will be in our arms in three days! This journey, although only the beginning, has been a crazy roller coaster! And, I must admit, I feel I have only hit the peak of the ride right before the fall where there is no turning back!!! AGHHHHHH! I have so many things running through my head! Are we going to be good parents? Are we ready? Will she be an inconvenience? Will I love her? Will she feel like ours? What if I can't do this! Will I be able to breast feed?

I am so aware though through 20 weeks of unceasing nausea (which is still present but only masked by some "magic pills" from the doc) and through this emotional buffet of hormones, God is ever present and ever good in my life! David and I have truly seen God's faithfulness through this all and are ready to see what He has in store.

I must say though, my friend, this week is not one that is emotionally settled for me. Like this weather, my emotions are fluctuating to the extremes. One minute I am scared to death and the next I can't wait to hold our baby! A very present fear that I have is that Alex Kate is going to be an inconvenience. I know that this is actually true, that there will be times where she is inconvenient, but I just feel so selfish that I don't want her to mess up what good things we have. Woe to me, for such a sinner am I, and so in need of God's grace in my life!

I also am afraid, like most probably are, of the unkown. I don't know what will happen on thursday, I have never given birth, and I don't know what to expect. I am trying though to fight all my fears with faith in Our Lord. That He is good and is in control!! He knows what is best for me and will accomplish that!

Things that make me excited: I can't believe this thing that has been growing inside of me for the past 9 months is a baby girl and that I will get to hold her this week in my arms! I can't believe that I will have to change her diaper and wipe her little butt. I can't believe that I will put socks and a hat on her, that I will dress her and kiss her and hug her!

Whatever may come, may I always trust the Lord, for this child is his, not mine!!! May I walk in faith that He is good and will provide all we need!

BRING IT!!!!!

Snow what!

Ok, so I must admit that this Christmas has been a bit difficult. With no house of my own and no Christmas fixings of my own, I have been quite perplexed. Everything that I thought that Christmas was, is not for me! No christmas tree, no presents, no home to decorate, etc... So, I must say that when Oliver Springs received this snowfall (measured in one spot at 6 " and counting) I was ecstatic! I threw open the curtains, made some hot chocolate and lit a candle. After all, this is what makes it all worth it. The snow was beautiful, and the way it fell on the farm land, oh how magnificent. Who needs a house full of decorations when you have acres of snow on the ground.

But, this euphoria ended real fast when David and I had to make a trip to Athens, and the amount of snowfall they had received was well non existent. We had driven through about 45 min of snow only to drive about 15 more min with the beautiful view of nothing! No snow anywhere. Unlike the melting snow, my heart began to get heavier and heavier, colder and colder, for I was not ready to leave the snow. I told David that I was so surprised, but I was really having a hard time with our absence from the snow.

It seems this Christmas, everything that has always meant so much to be has been stripped away, but by God's grace there is more to this story. Although this is hard for me today, I can rest thankful to my God for rooting out these faux joys. These things, which do certainly help us look to Christ, do not in themselves satisfy me! The thing that gives me my fill is Christ, that he came as promised by God, lived a sinless life, and took God's wrath that was meant for me upon him! By His wounds I am healed.

So, this Christmas, I do not rejoice in the fact that I have a home to celebrate Christmas in, or that I have a christmas tree, or have drank my share of hot chocolate! By no means!! For if I gave any of these things a place in my life, they would always fall short of giving me joy!

I rejoice in my Lord and Savior! I rejoice that God promised a Messiah and that he has come!!!

" But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah,

who are too little to be among the clans of Judah,

from you shall come forth for me

one who is to be ruler in Israel,

whose coming forth is from of old,

from ancient days.

Therefore he shall give them up until the time

when she who is in labor has given birth;

then the rest of his brothers shall return

to the people of Israel.

And he shall stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the LORD,

in the majesty of the name of the LORD his God.

And they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great

to the ends of the earth.

And he shall be their peace..."

I am also thankful for God's grace in my life through my church. God has used them to really helped me look towards Christ this Christmas!

Words from a Dear Friend on this Holiday Season

This is a response from a sweet friend about her views on this season... David and I are in awe of God's grace in this sweet family and love just watching them all interact!!! I wanted to post this because I love the way she views the season!! Very Helpful for us!!

"Well...to start with...I don't like seeing Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving!! I think that's a real revealer of what's important in our country...STUFF...MONEY...MORE STUFF...MORE MONEY... I enjoy the advent season leading up to Christmas because it's such a great time of preparation and examination. Preparation for celebrating the birth of our Savior and examination of my heart...asking the Lord to show me where I'm not treasuring Christ more than (fill in the blank). I enjoy decorating our house...and hopefully it's tasteful and inviting. We don't do the whole Santa Claus thing...and didn't with our children. However, when our kids were home we did tend to go over-the-top with gifts...not a good thing. God has been so gracious to redeem us and redirect our hearts, though. So, our focus is more on worshiping Jesus than accumulating things. We have always gone to a Christmas Eve service, which is a highlight for me. That's why I'm so thankful that CCK will be having a Christmas Eve service this year!!! I didn't really appreciate establishing traditions when our children were young. Now that I do...I find I'm more excited about the season of Thanksgiving and the preparation and anticipation of Christmas. So, this year we're starting a new tradition (shhhh...don't tell...it's a secret to our kids) called advent baskets...which will include an advent calendar. So...starting with December 1st and ending on December 25th, they will open one small gift each day from their baskets and in each day on their advent calendar will be an attribute of God for them to ponder and meditate on. Hopefully, this will help all of our hearts remain fixed on the amazing truth of the gospel...that God gave us Jesus...and there's no more precious gift than Jesus!!! I'll look forward to reading your "conclusion"!!"

DITL

So, I guess I will do my DITL although it is not that interesting!!!

5:00 alarm goes off

5:15 David gets up and gets dressed while I get up and clean his coffee press out(sometimes with a bad attitude, sometimes not) (sometimes I hang out with him while he gets ready for the day).

5:30 David reads the word in the bedroom while I go back to sleep.

6:00 We say our goodbyes for the day, and I head back to sleep until 8:30 and sometimes 9:00.

8:30-9:00 I slowly wake up and realize my bladder is about to bust, and then little bit kicks and I run to the bathroom!

9:00 Make breakfast (egg on a piece of toast with either OJ or milk everyday). I sit on the couch with my breakfast open the computer and check gmail and facebook. Then I read my ESV online and journal about it. After this, my schedule is pretty much anything goes. Let's just say I incubate for little bit!

11:15 David and I video chat for about 30 min while he eats his lunch!!!

11:45 Do a little more incubation!

2:00 or 3:00 I get up and get ready for the day/hubby.

4:30 David gets home and either I have made dinner or we cook it together.

6:00-9:00 We have started playing cards lately, but during this time we also hang out, watch tv, and get David ready for the next day.

9:00 We get to bed and read a little bit. Lately David has been reading Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and Humility by C.J Mahaney, and I have been reading Baby Wise.

Sometime between then David turns off the light and immediately somehow falls to sleep, I have a million things running in my head, so I usually accidentally wake him up talking to him. I don't realize he is already asleep!! This happens about 3 times a week.

9:00pm-5:00 I toss and turn, use the restroom about 6 times, try many different ways to sleep and snuggle to my hubby!!!

What a perfect life!!!

A promise for the unborn!

Something I have been clinging to today:

I have been a tiny bit sick this week, and it has revealed some fears that I have in my heart. You see, pregnancy is so crazy because other than the responsibility to be healthy, you have no responsibility at all to grow or keep your baby! I do not know how she is doing! I can't tell if she is ok! I have no idea. What I have been really trying to cling to this morning is Ps. 139

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

(Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)

This truth keeps me grounded in the midst of my fearful and distrusting heart! God knows my baby girl and is keeping her! I am so thankful that God has given me this truth that I can cling to and trust in uncertain times!

A turkey day unlike any other

This Thanksgiving is not one that my family would have suspected. You see, the way my family does Turkey Day is well sort of a blow out! My family is so close, and we are so crazy. We always have so much fun when we get together, oh and the food... I imagine God may well in fact ask my family to cook for the banquet he is preparing for us.

This Thanksgiving, however, is proving to be one of epic proportions. My Aunt's house is in the middle of demolition from the crazy flood Nashville had, and if any knows what it is like to not be able to live in your own house, I know you can sympathize. My mom has just had surgery to remove some cancer on her face, which isn't all that bad except that she has to have reconstructive surgery the day before Thanksgiving, and she is also having a hard time with the possible outcome. Who wouldn't have a hard time with a chunk of skin taken out of your face!? And last but not least, my grandmother, the matriarch, the tribal leader, our great wall of China, our solidity has just found out that she has breast cancer that is also in the lymph nods.

This Thanksgiving, my family will be shaken. We will not have the food that we have always had, we will not have the participation that we love so much, a lot of us will be stuck on the couch while others around us are forced to do our beckoning, but my friend, in the midst of these trials, in the midst of pain, we will rise and say this. Thanksgiving is not about food at all, it is not about games, or parades, or feelings, Thanksgiving is about turning our minds away from earthly things and looking to God our Father. The Father who has set all things before Him (Col 1:16,17). The God who has authored our days (Heb 12:2). He promises that he conforms everything to the purpose of His will (Eph 1:11). He promises that He does good to us every moment! "No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly! (Ps 84:11)" God makes our lot secure (Ps 16:5). He promises he has given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

This Thanksgiving, we can be thankful for our circumstances! We can be thankful for them because God is good to us every moment of every day! This is the day that the Lord has made! Weeping may tarry for the night, but JOY comes in the morning! Let us have faith that God is working in the midst of these trials, to bring us into a hope that will not disappoint. GOD IS GOOD!

What are your views on this season?

So talking to my husband this week, I realized that some views I had on Christmas and this season needed to be transformed. We spent a little time last night thinking through a few of my thoughts about it. He was so helpful, and I am now just trying to let God define my thoughts on this subject. I am just curious as to what you believe about celebrating Christmas and ALL the festivities with your family (i.e. decorating, music, santa, etc...). Let me know what you think!!! I will write my conclusion in a week or so!